The importance of parental authority
It seems to many children that their parents do not understand them. Of course, there is the age barrier that hampers full understanding between parents and children. More than that, parent-children relationships are a peculiar type of relationship with the authorized role of parents. This type of relationship remains the relationship between the authority and the subordinate. Children are obliged to obey their parents as far as they depend on them and their parents give them their life.
The difficulties connected with the control of adolescents
Like any type of such relations, parent-children relationships have a lot of difficulties. Especially there are many difficulties with teenagers. Physical changes, constant mood changes, and hormonal changes of teenagers sometimes become unbearable for parents. Teens find the reason for all their problems in their parents’ restrictions and the children try to resist the parents’ interference in their life and even rebel against them.
Parents should be very attentive to their own behavior and they should find the golden middle in their control over their children who are teenagers. Teens should have the freedom of choice and the parents should support them in their choice. If the parents do not consider their children’s choice to be the right and reasonable one, they should not press upon them. Instead of pressing they may drive at the right decision or convince their children to make another decision with the number of arguments.
Factually, this type of authority changes from the others as far as children have the right to freedom of choice and the parents may not always influence their children’s behavior. Nevertheless, parents should be reasonable and should decide what decisions should be made by them and what decisions may be made by their adolescents. More than that, these authorized relationships are not official where the subordinate must do everything the authority says. These relationships should be warm and close with a strict line of authority.
The level of parents’ control depends on the age and maturity of their children. In the case of little children who are not able to make decisions and choices, everything is decided by their parents. When the children become elder the parents should give them more freedom. Before giving them this freedom the parents should teach them to make reasonable and right decisions. Sometimes parents are guilty of the wrong decision of their children. Adolescents should be given more freedom than little children. Nevertheless, the adolescents will be always children for their parents and they are obliged to follow all rules till they live in the parents’ house. Parents should find the line between freedoms and responsibilities provided to their adolescent children.
There are a lot of topics which may cause misunderstanding between children and their parents. These topics may concern the choice of the friends, the appearance, the clothes, the make-up, the time they may devote to entertainment, and other current issues. Dangerous behavior and poor judgments may be the reasons for the restrictions of children’s freedom. Parental authority should depend on the seriousness and importance of the problem. Children need parental control and help to have success in their life.
Although many parents want to be friends with their children they should not forget to demonstrate who the boss in the family is. If the line of authority is diffuse to take control over children becomes very difficult. When your children forget who is in charge of the family they start behaving like a boss. In this case, parents’ control is ignored and children are thrown upon their own devices. One of the main reasons for losing control by parents is their wrong behavior.
Sometimes parents are not quite experienced to bring up children and they actually act like children and as the result, they lose their control. It should be noted that parents are responsible for their children and their roles are not equal. Parents play a lot of roles towards their children. They should be a boss, a teacher, and a coach to their children. The role of the boss is restricted to the limit setter that means that parents should set limits and restrictions on their children. As a teacher parents should provide the necessary knowledge to their children. In the role of a coach, parents challenge their children to behave better. All three roles should be combined in order to achieve the best results in upbringing.
It is easy for parents to control their children when they are little but it becomes too complicated to influence their life when they become elder. When the children are little everything is decided by the parents: what their children do and what they should not do, what they should wear, how they should behave, where they should study and with whom they should spend their time and make friends. Children from one to ten years usually obey their parents without any confrontations and they spend most of their time with their parents. When the children become adolescents, the rules of the game are changed and the parental authority becomes in doubt.
The reason for such behavior is not in the loss of respect to the parents. It happens because of the adolescents’ desire to be independent and free from parents’ control. It is the most difficult time for the parents when they have to restore control of themselves.
Parental authority is necessary for children as far as they are not ready to make reasonable decisions and they are not fully taught to live. If there is not such parental authority in the family children may be under threat of the surroundings and strange for them world. It seems to children that they are grown-ups and have the right to control their life themselves but factually they fail to do it. If the parents leave their children to themselves, their mistakes may cause irreparable consequences or it may cost their life. That is why children should realize the necessity to obey their parents.
The cases when the parental authority is in doubt
Nevertheless, there are some cases when adolescents are difficult to control. There are cases when teens rebel against parental authority or even leave the parental house. Such rebellions may be caused by strict parents’ resistance to accepting their children’s choices. Even if the parents realize that their children are wrong they should not press upon them. The best solution is to discuss this decision together and take into account all advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes even such means do not help and children do not even temporize. Such behavior may be explained by the parent-children relationships in their family.
If the parents have lost control over their children such rebellions happen too often. If talks and discussions do not help parents have the right to use austerities and limit the children’s freedoms. But there are cases when the children’s freedom is too restricted and their rebellions are quite justified. It is the only method used by children to achieve their goals. For example, if the adolescent wants to be a teacher and enter the specialized university but their parents want him/her to become a manager the adolescent may resist his/her parents’ decision. Of course, parents may make their child change his/her mind but if they do not succeed in it the child has the right to make his/her own decision as far as the choice of the future profession is an individual choice.
If the parents strictly forbid him/her to do it this situation may end in rebellion. In this case, the rebellion is justified and the adolescent may achieve his/her goal by influencing his/her parents in such away. It is quite often when the parents make concessions in the cases when their children’s decision does not threaten their life. If the adolescent wants to become a soldier or chooses another dangerous profession the parents’ resistance is justified in such cases.
The cases when the rebellions are justified
It should be noted, that there are other cases when children’s rebellions may be justified. There are a lot of cases nowadays when adults are not ready to become parents and they fail to bring up their children. As a result, children are left to themselves and they do whatever they want. There are a lot of cases of problematic families where one of the parents is an alcoholic or drug addict and he/she abuses the parental authority. In such cases, children have the right to rebel against their parents. There are special services where the children may ask for help. Children have the right not to follow their parents’ instructions if they are judged by the law.
For example, if parents make their children deceive, steal or even kill they must not subordinate the parental authority. They may complain to their parents to the higher governmental authorities. There are special services where children may complain to their parents and inform them about the abuse of their authority.
The advantages and disadvantages of parental authority
From the above said, we may conclude that parental authority is very important in any family. Children need to be controlled by their parents because of their immaturity. The limits of children’s freedom depend on their age and ability to make reasonable decisions. If the parents consider their children’s decision to be wrong they may direct their children to the right one. It becomes more difficult to control adolescents. Sometimes the parental authority is in doubt and children rebel against their parents. In this case, the parents may use strict measures to get their authority back and limit their children’s freedoms. Nevertheless, there are cases when such rebellions are justified.
It may be in the case when parents abuse their authority and the children do not have any other means to achieve their goals. There are special services that may help children when their rights are violated by their parents. Despite all these cases children should respect their parents and be grateful for the living. Parents always want the best things for their children and they want their children to be happy and make fewer mistakes and wrong decisions in their life.