Part one of the book presents the essential practices of handling people. Chapter one under part one begins with the affirmation that if people want to collect honey, they should not kick the beehive. This means that attacking other individuals is worthless because it only puts them on a defensive approach. People cannot make actual changes by condemning others as this usually draws resentment. There is a need to consider that one is not contending with creatures of reason but emotion, who are stimulated by arrogance and ego. Carnegie pleads with the readers to do their best never to condemn but always seek to comprehend why human beings act in the manner in which they do. Chapter one concludes with the urge to avoid criticizing, complaining, or condemning.
Chapter two presents the great secrets of addressing people. In this chapter, Carnegie argues that there is just a single approach to making others do something happily; one has to make them willing to do it. He further elucidates that the most constructive means of making what others do successful is by appreciating them honestly and sincerely. The third chapter promotes the readers to mull over things from the perspective of others; that is, people should put the needs of others before their own. When people constantly try to compel change onto others, they nearly at all times fail. However, if one can take time to look into the challenge from others’ point of view and assist them to comprehend the best strategy of ensuring that they succeed, there is a high probability of thriving. Chapter three is summed up by the principle of arousal in others an eager desire.
Part two explains how a person can make other people like him/her. The fundamental premise behind the first chapter is that one can attract more friends through getting interested in them than by attempting to make them get interested in him/her. Smile has been portrayed as a simple manner of ensuring a positive intuition. Even if one does not feel like smiling, he/she ought to force it to happen without making it appear to be an insincere grin, and this tends making him/her happy. Carnegie also asserts that if a person desires being an excellent conversationalist and making people take pleasure in being around him/her, he/she has to first be a keen listener and encourage other people to speak about themselves.
This part elucidates the techniques of winning people to one’s point of view. The first approach is avoiding arguments and showing respect to the views of others. When one is wrong, he/she ought to admit it fast and emphatically. Moreover, one has to be considerate of the notions and desires of others. People should learn to act in a friendly manner at all times and be kind even when wronged or distressed. Honestly perceiving occurrences from another individual’s perspective works wonders in the prevention of conflicts.
Part four explains the practice of being a leader and changing people devoid of offending them or eliciting resentment. The first way of doing this is to always start with praise and genuine appreciation. The second way is through calling attention to people’s flaws indirectly to ensure correcting them without being hated for them. Additionally, one ought to speak about his/her mistakes and evade vilifying others for their mistakes. Instead of issuing commands, one ought to ask questions or make polite requests. Recognizing any minimal improvement and probably giving a reward sensitizes people to do even better. Finally, one ought to encourage others, make their mistakes appear simple to correct and ensure that they are happy doing what is suggested.
Carnegie, D. (1998). How to Win Friends & Influence People. Pocket Books.